In 2004, at the age of 15, I was a professional ballroom dancer. The trainings were so intense that my body had zero grams of excess fat.
My eating habits were chaotic, consuming a lot of junk food. I didn’t care about my body because I thought, “I’m young and healthy,” believing it would always be that way.
By my final school year, I quit my athletic career and quickly gained about 15 kg extra. I tried out all sorts of “miracle diets,” starvation, and other self-destructive methods to lose weight, but nothing worked. My weight fluctuated like a swing, gaining and losing 15 kg, at one point reaching up to 90 kg. I avoided mirrors, hated my body and wore only oversize clothes to hide myself as much as possible.
In my first year of university, I developed a deep eating disorder that stayed with me for years. For those unfamiliar with it, I explain: it involves starving oneself (or following restrictive diets), then overeating 2-3 times beyond capacity, followed by regret and a promise never to overeat again, leading back to dieting/fasting/starvation. Then vicious cycle repeats.
In 2011, I began working as a pilot. I started genuinely worrying about my health and, for the first time in my life, chose a path of recovery instead of body punishment. Within a few years, I returned my body to a healthier shape. The eating disorder persisted but with less severity. Several years of recovery and healing followed, during which I participated in multiple programs with nutrition specialists and worked with a psychologist.
By 2020, I had made peace with my body. Food was no longer an enemy but became a friend to maintaining good health. I allowed myself to eat everything I desired while maintaining good physical shape.
In 2022, I became pregnant and gained 11 kg, which I considered a great result. Throughout the pregnancy, I ate normally without restrictions, enjoying desserts almost daily!
This photo was taken just one week after childbirth. A few days later, I returned to my normal weight. However, my body fat percentage was slightly higher due to limited exercise during pregnancy.
During this period, I had very little sleep. I was deeply exhausted, and my stress levels were constantly high. The only things keeping me alive were regular, healthy eating and movement. This supported my body and helped me to survive this period of intense food cravings.
In the spring of 2024, as part of my nutrition counseling studies, I start to provide consultations to those in need. I sincerely hope that my nutritional experiences, studies and counseling work helps women to improve their health and quality of life.
I wouldn’t wish my journey of battling weight and self-esteem to anyone. If I can help even few people avoid such physical and mental exhaustion, then my goal is achieved!
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